**nhow Frankfurt: The Most INSANE Hotel in Germany?!**
nhow Frankfurt: The Most INSANE Hotel in Germany?! (Is It Actually?) - A Messy, Honest Review
Alright, buckle up, buttercups, because we're about to dive headfirst into the neon-drenched, music-pumping, possibly-slightly-mad world of the nhow Frankfurt. Is it the most insane hotel in Germany? Well, that's a bold claim, and let's be honest, I'm still processing the experience. But I will say this: It's unforgettable. And that's saying something in a city full of sleek, predictable business hotels.
First Impressions: A Sensory Overload (in a Good Way?)
Walking into the nhow Frankfurt is like stumbling into a rave on acid… but a luxury rave. It's vibrant, loud (in a good way!), and unapologetically extra. The lobby alone is a feast for the eyes. Seriously, the colors… the music… the art… It's enough to make you feel like you’ve already had a few cocktails, even before you've unpacked.
Accessibility: Ok, let's be real for a sec. I'm not in a wheelchair, but I did take a good look around. The elevator is HUGE (!), and I saw ramps. Based on my observations, wheelchair accessibility seems well thought-out. Facilities for disabled guests were present. That's a big plus.
Check-in/out: Contactless check-in/out? YES PLEASE! Modern, efficient, and perfect for someone like me who gets awkward around front desks. They also had a regular check-in and a private check-in/out area (for the VIPs, I assume). The front desk [24-hour] is a definite advantage.
The Room: Where the Party (Almost) Stops
I’m not gonna lie, after the lobby, I was expecting the room to be equally bonkers. But honestly? It was surprisingly chill. Don't get me wrong, it was stylish - bright, modern, with a quirky design. But it was a welcome respite from the sensory overload downstairs.
Rooms were Clean as Heck: I'm a stickler for cleanliness, and I was pleasantly surprised. Rooms sanitized between stays, and they mentioned using anti-viral cleaning products. They also have room sanitization opt-out available, which is nice.
Essentials: So many crucial room amenities, so little time! Air conditioning, Wi-Fi [free] everywhere (thank you, sweet baby Jesus!), Blackout curtains (a MUST after a night of… ahem… exploring the city), a comfortable bed, a desk for when you pretend to work… and a freaking coffee/tea maker! Daily housekeeping - always a win! Free bottled water was a nice touch. Additional toilet, Bathrobes, Bathtub, Bathroom phone (why?), Closet, Coffee/tea maker, Complimentary tea, Desk, Extra long bed, Hair dryer, High floor, In-room safe box, Ironing facilities, Laptop workspace, Linens, Mini bar, Mirror, Non-smoking, On-demand movies, Private bathroom, Reading light, Refrigerator, Satellite/cable channels, Scale, Seating area, Separate shower/bathtub, Shower, Slippers, Smoke detector, Socket near the bed, Sofa, Soundproofing, Telephone, Toiletries, Towels, Umbrella, Visual alarm, Wake-up service, Window that opens.
Internet: Internet access – LAN and Internet access – wireless available in the room.
For the Internet Nerds: The Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! is a major selling point. And it actually works! None of that agonizingly slow hotel Wi-Fi nonsense. Internet services? Probably. I didn't need 'em.
Eating, Drinking, and Making Merry (or a Mess?):
This is where things get interesting. The nhow Frankfurt is all about the experience.
- Restaurants and Lounges: The Bar is a must-visit. It's a sleek space, often buzzing with activity. They have a Poolside bar. The Coffee shop is great for a quick fix!
- I'm pretty sure they have a Breakfast buffet… But honestly? I got more excited about the Breakfast takeaway service. I wanted to sleep in.
- Dining: A la carte in restaurant, Asian cuisine in restaurant, Breakfast service, Buffet in restaurant, Desserts in restaurant, Happy hour, International cuisine in restaurant, Restaurants, Salad in restaurant, Snack bar, Soup in restaurant, Vegetarian restaurant, Western breakfast, Western cuisine in restaurant. Also there were Alternative meal arrangement and an Asian breakfast, pretty cool.
- Room Service: 24-hour? YES. (My bank account, however, said "NO.")
- Cashless payment service - PERFECT! Less change to juggle.
- Bottle of water: Always appreciated!
- Safe dining setup: I did notice a Safe dining setup and Sanitized kitchen and tableware items, so they seem to address the cleanliness thing.
The Spa and Wellness: Attempting to Un-Party
Okay, deep breaths. After all the neon and noise, I did consider the Spa, Spa/sauna.
Ways to relax: Body scrub, Body wrap, Foot bath, Massage, Pool with view, Sauna, Spa, Spa/sauna, Steamroom, Swimming pool, Swimming pool [outdoor]. I didn't actually use any of these, but they were there! And the idea of a Pool with view after a night out is very tempting.
Fitness: Fitness center, Gym/fitness - for those who are actually motivated to work out on vacation? Kudos to you.
Things to Do (Besides Party):
- Things to do: I focused on exploring Frankfurt.
- Business facilities: If you must work, the Business facilities looked pretty good. The hotel had Meeting/banquet facilities, Meetings, Meeting stationery, Seminars, Xerox/fax in business center.
- Services: Airport transfer, Car park [on-site], Car power charging station, Taxi service, Valet parking.
- Services and conveniences: The Concierge was helpful. They had a Cash withdrawal service.
The Quirks, the Imperfections, and the Emotional Rollercoaster:
- Staff: The staff were, for the most part, lovely, but service could be a little slow at peak times. Expect a little wait.
- Cleanliness: While the rooms were immaculate, the common areas, could be a bit… lively.
- The Music: The music is everywhere. If you crave silence, this is NOT your place.
- Soundproofing: Soundproof rooms are a godsend. Otherwise, you'd be in the middle of a rave all night long.
- Pets allowed - Not available. Boo!
The Verdict: Is it INSANE?
Look, the nhow Frankfurt isn't perfect. It's a bit loud. It's a bit much. But that’s also its charm. It’s unapologetically fun. It’s a place where you can let your hair down, forget about your responsibilities, and just be. And, honestly, after the year we've all had, sometimes that's exactly what you need.
Overall, I'd rate it a solid 4 out of 5 stars. It’s NOT your typical hotel, and that’s what makes it awesome. I'd go back in a heartbeat… if only to experience the chaos again.
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Here's what makes nhow Frankfurt the perfect getaway:
- Unforgettable Experiences: Immerse yourself in a world of vibrant design.
- Free Wi-Fi in All Rooms! Stay connected effortlessly.
- Delicious Dining & Drinks: Enjoy a Breakfast [buffet] and explore amazing Restaurants, Poolside bar, and Bar to discover delicious delights.
- Relax & Rejuvenate: Take a dip in the Swimming pool [outdoor] or take a deep dive in the Sauna, perfect for unwinding.
- Accessibility & Convenience: Enjoy wheelchair accessible rooms and services, contactless check-in/out, and convenient amenities like a **2
Okay, buckle up Buttercup, because this itinerary is about to get real. We’re going to Frankfurt, Germany, and we’re doing it my way. Which means it's potentially going to be a delightful disaster, a chaotic symphony of pretzels, questionable art, and existential dread (fueled by caffeine, of course). We're staying at the nhow Frankfurt, because… well, the pictures looked cool and I'm a sucker for a hotel pool. Let's dive in.
Day 1: Arrival, Awkwardness, and Apple Wine Adventures (and a side of existential dread)
- 1:00 PM - Arrival & Hotel Check-In: The Great Luggage Debacle. Okay, so first things first. The flight was delayed. Surprise! The airport was a chaotic ballet of stressed-out travelers and even more stressed-out airline employees. Finally, made it to Frankfurt. The taxi ride was…interesting. The driver clearly didn't understand the concept of "small talk" which, honestly, was fine by me. Then, upon arrival at the nhow, the automated check-in was malfunctioning, so awkwardly had to make eye contact with the front desk person, who looked like they had the patience of, well, someone dealing with jet-lagged me. Luggage finally in the room (thank GOD), and I'm immediately regretting packing that ridiculously heavy book.
- 2:00 PM - Room Reconnaissance & Initial Panics: Room is sleek, modern, and… eerily quiet. Is this what being "adult" feels like? I'm suddenly overwhelmed by the sudden realization that my life is, in fact, a series of choices I made. The view is of… a somewhat industrial-looking area. Fine, whatever. Got the snacks I smuggled in from home. Needed to confirm where the pool and gym are located, and if I can have a coffee maker in my room. I immediately started to google "Frankfurt crime rates" and wonder if I remembered to lock my door.
- 3:00 PM - First Frankfurt Foray: Römerberg Square & the Gut Feeling (or Lack Thereof). Okay, must. Leave. The. Room. Got lost immediately trying to find the U-Bahn (subway). Ended up walking for what felt like miles, sweating profusely. Finally stumble into Römerberg Square, which is undeniably gorgeous. Cobblestone, half-timbered buildings, the works. It's like stepping into a gingerbread house, albeit one likely populated by pigeons. Got accosted by a street performer dressed as a… I don't even know, a mime-esque robot? Paid him to go away (more out of fear than appreciation).
- 4:00 PM - Apple Wine Revelation (and the lingering dread). My stomach growled, so wandered into one of the traditional Apfelwein (apple wine) taverns. Ordered the apfelwein. Took a sip. Whoa. It took a moment to register what had happened. This stuff is… tart. But also strangely delicious? I'm going to need a lot more of this. Started to overthink things again. Started thinking about my student loans. This is the kind of situation where I'd probably order a second glass for good measure.
- 6:00 PM - Dinner Fiasco (and the rise of hangry). Found a restaurant that looked promising. The menu was entirely in German, which is… my fault, I guess. Pointed at something vaguely meat-shaped. What arrived was some sort of unidentifiable, but perfectly cooked, sausage, an enormous pile of sauerkraut, and a potato the size of my head. I swear it was staring at me. The waitress (who seemed to have a permanent look of exasperation) was fantastic.
- 8:00 PM - Evening Entertainment - Skybar. "Where the hell am I?" The nhow has a rooftop bar. Went up there. The views are magnificent. But the drinks are expensive. And I'm suddenly hit with the realization that I'm alone in a foreign country, facing a week of… this. Ordered another drink, just to… well, I'm not entirely sure why.
- 9:00 PM- Room and Regret: Stumbled back to my room. Wondered if I should go to the gym. Decided to watch Netflix instead and order room service.
Day 2: Art, Overplanning, and the Quest for the Perfect Pretzel (and a mild existential crisis).
- 9:00 AM - Breakfast in Bed. Or rather, in hotel room. Then, the Gym (maybe later). A buffet is the right answer. The spread wasn't the best in the world, but that's a hard bar to clear. Found a cozy corner and tried to gather my thoughts. I need to tackle Frankfurt in a more organized way.
- 10:00 AM - Museums, Museums, Everywhere! Frankfurt is known for its museums. Went to the Städel Museum – classic. Saw some amazing art. Got lost in the halls of beauty and wonder. Then came back to my hotel.
- 12:00 PM - Pretzel Pilgrimage (and the soul crushing of failure) Okay, this is important. I must have a perfect pretzel. Asked the hotel staff for recommendations. They said all the bakeries were "fine". Went to one and the pretzel was… okay. Not life-changing. The quest continues.
- 1:00 PM - More Art, More Confusion. The Liebieghaus Skulpturensammlung. Great collection, but started to glaze over around the Greek statues. Art overload is a real thing.
- 2:00 PM - The German Bookstore (and the siren song of the stationery aisle). Stumbled upon a bookstore. Browsed. Didn't buy anything, but spent a solid hour agonizing over which notebook to buy (obviously, the one with the fancy paper and gold embossing).
- 3:00 PM - River Walk & Random Thoughts: Walked along the Main River. Watched the boats go by. Contemplated the meaning of life (again). Decided that maybe, just maybe, I should try the gym later.
- 5:00 PM - The Search for Dinner (Again). Now here enters the second meal of the day, which can be a real headache. Found some kind of restaurant, ate some kind of food, I can't remember much from this experience.
- 9:00 PM - Failed Gym Attempt & Ordering More Room Service. Yeah, the gym is a no-go. Netflix, here I come. Fried food is what I crave.
Day 3: A Day Trip, A Breakdown and a newfound appreciation for the Chaos
- 9:00 AM - Day Trip to Heidelberg! Planned it. Organized it. Done. The train ride was uneventful, thank god. The castle was amazing. The old town was picturesque. I was so proud of myself for making it this far.
- 12:00 PM- Pretzel Strike Two. Heidelberg. Another pretzel. It was better than the first, but still not perfect.
- 2:00 PM - The Dark Side of Heidelberg and the Beginning of something new. Heidelberg seemed like the perfect city. One can get too caught up in perfect experiences.
- 4:00 PM - Train back to Frankfurt. After seeing a beautiful city, I was relieved to go back to my messy hotel, and my messy life.
- 6:00 PM - Ordering out and Netflix. There is no shame.
Day 4: Bankenviertel, Shopping and a final pretzel showdown (and acceptance of my fate)
- 10:00 AM - Bankenviertel & Seeing the Big Boys. Frankfurt's financial district. Felt intimidated by the skyscrapers, then realised I didn't care. The main thing I saw was the contrast between the old and the new.
- 12:00 PM - Shopping Spree (or, the illusion of it). Did some souvenir shopping. Found a vintage shop. Browsed for hours. Didn't buy anything.
- 2:00 PM - Pretzel Showdown - The Final Reckoning! Went to three different bakeries. Taste-tested each pretzel. I found it. The perfect Pretzel.
- 4:00 PM - My Last Drink. I ordered a drink. I found it was almost empty.
Day 5: Departure - This is never easy.
- 10:00 AM - Packing and Last Minute Thoughts: Attempted to pack. Failed. Realized I'm leaving.
- 12:00 PM - Leaving: Taxi, airport, flight.
And there you have it. My Frankfurt adventure. It wasn't perfect, it was a mess, but it was mine. I lived it. I embraced the chaos. I ate way too many pretzels. And, somehow, I made it out alive. Now, I'm back home, staring at my luggage, wondering where to go next.
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1. So, what *is* this obsession, anyway? Like, how did it *start*?
2. Seriously, *why* the drain? Is there, like, some secret cat network down there?
3. Okay, okay, so she *looks* at it. Does she, y’know, *do* anything? Like, try to *get* at it?
4. And.. what if you *don't* let her look at the drain? Like, what happens then?
5. Okay, but is it, like, *dangerous*? Should you be worried?
6. Have you *tried* to stop her? Like, any actual solutions?
7. Is there anything *good* about this? Like, any silver linings here?
