Melbourne's BEST Nightcap? The Cheeky Squire's Secret Revealed!
Melbourne's BEST Nightcap? The Cheeky Squire's Secret Revealed! (A Rambling Review for the Discerning Drinker)
Alright, alright, settle in, grab a (non-alcoholic, for now!) beverage, because we're diving headfirst into the murky, glorious depths of Melbourne's nightcap scene. And, specifically, we're unearthing the secret, the whispered legend, the… The Cheeky Squire. Now, before you roll your eyes and think "just another hotel review," hear me out. This isn't just about thread counts and complimentary mini-bar peanuts (though, let's be honest, those are important). This is about experience. This is about chasing that perfect, pre-sleep serenity. And, well, it got a little messy.
First Impressions & the Quest for Accessibility (Because, Priorities!)
Finding The Cheeky Squire was surprisingly painless. Not that I’m directionally gifted; I just needed the taxi, and here we are!
Accessibility: Pretty good. I'm not in a wheelchair but I can see the elevator, and the front desk staff seem to be well-versed with helping out. They definitely seemed to have put some thought into it, which is a great start. Now, for the real test: the wheelchair accessibility. I noticed ramps, wide doorways, and accessible rooms, which is a HUGE win. I'm saying, if you are in a wheelchair, get in there with confidence!
On-site Accessible Restaurants/Lounges: Yes! This is key. We're talking easy-peasy access to the bar and restaurants. No more awkward stair struggles after a few drinks. This is a serious tick.
The Tech Factor (Because, Let's Be Connected… or Not!)
Look, sometimes you just need to disconnect. But sometimes, you NEED that Wi-Fi to upload that Insta-worthy shot of your Espresso Martini.
Internet: Yep, they got it. Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! Hallelujah! Internet [LAN]: For the hardcore nerds. Internet Services: Didn't really dive in, but I assume it's all there.
The Relaxation Armada: Things to Do & Ways to Unwind (or Not, Depending on Your State!)
This is where I really judged it. After a long day in Melbourne, even with a few well-timed Aperol Spritz, I still needed to unwind.
Spa/Sauna/Pool/Gym: Okay, full disclosure: I didn't use the spa. I just glanced. But it looked… tempting. They have a pool with a view – a classic move. Plus a gym, for those who feel guilty about all the delicious food and drink (which, let's be real, is everyone).
Body stuff too! Body scrub, body wrap, foot bath. The works! I bet it is a real treat!
Pacing Note: This is a Nightcap review, and honestly, I haven’t used all the facilities. I want more of a lounge vibe rather than a fitness center, but all is well!
Cleanliness & Safety (Because, You Know, the World)
Look, hygiene is important, especially these days.
Anti-viral cleaning products: Good. Breakfast takeaway service, individually wrapped food options: Excellent! Cleanliness is great Hand sanitizer readily available. Daily disinfection in common areas: Nice. Staff trained in safety protocol: Awesome. Room sanitization opt-out available: I loved this.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: The Main Event! (And the Reason We're Here)
This is the meat and potatoes, the bread and butter, the… well, you get the idea. The Cheeky Squire delivers here.
The Bar: Absolutely stellar. The bartenders are friendly, knowledgeable, and can whip up a mean cocktail. Their knowledge of craft beers is impressive. The range of drinks is astounding, and the atmosphere is relaxed and inviting. It's a true haven after a day of exploring.
Restaurants: Well, it has multiple restaurants! I like them
The Food: Okay, so I had the A la carte option, it was really great. The food was top-notch. You can find Asian cuisine, Western cuisine, there is a western breakfast, buffet and all.
Quirky Observation The bar staff were also genuinely interested in where I'd been and what I'd done. No forced small talk, but a genuine interest in making sure I had a great time.
Services and Conveniences
Air conditioning in public area: Yep. Essential. Concierge: Super helpful. Cash withdrawal: Sorted. Daily housekeeping: Spotless. Elevator: Check. Ironing etc: All there.
For the Kids: Hmm, not really my area of expertise. But they have babysitting service and family-friendly facilities.
Rooms and Ambiance: The Bedroom, the Sanctuary (or Not, If You're a Mess!)
Available in all rooms, Air conditioning, Alarm clock, Bathrobes, Bedside sockets, Slippers, Smoke detector, Sofa, Soundproofing, Telephone, Toiletries, Towels, Umbrella, Wi-Fi [free]
The room was… well-appointed. Not the biggest space in the world, but functional. The bed was comfy (that’s a HUGE win for a good night’s sleep), and the blackout curtains were a godsend. I needed it. It was a really good thing that it had a reading light next to the bed. The complimentary tea was a nice bonus.
The Unexpected Gem: The "Room Sanitization Opt-Out"
Okay, this might sound boring, but it’s actually genius. Knowing you can choose to not have your room cleaned every day (environmental and privacy win!) is a fantastic touch. You gotta appreciate little things!
The Emotional Verdict: Did The Cheeky Squire Deliver on the Nightcap Promise?
Absolutely. Honestly, I had an amazing time. It succeeded where so many hotels fail: it gets the vibe right. It’s not about flash, it's about comfort, quality, and, most importantly, that feeling of ahhhhh.
The Imperfections?
Okay, I'm being honest here.
Rambles: I need all the facilities. This is a complex hotel.
Stronger Emotional Reactions: There.
The Cheeky Squire: Your Melbourne Nightcap Awaits!
The Offer (Because, Let's Get You Booked!)
Craving the Perfect Melbourne Nightcap? Ditch the ordinary and embrace the extraordinary at The Cheeky Squire.
You'll Get:
- Award-winning cocktails: Sip your way to bliss.
- Luxurious rooms: Sink into pure comfort.
- Unforgettable ambiance: Relax and recharge.
It's all you need for the perfect pre-sleep moment.
Don't just dream of the perfect night. Book your escape to THE CHEEKY SQUIRE now and experience Melbourne's best-kept secret! Click the link below to book your stay! [Insert Booking Link Here]
Box Hill Luxury: 12A Melbourne's Most Stunning Apartment Awaits!
Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because this itinerary for Nightcap at The Cheeky Squire in Melbourne is gonna be less "polished brochure" and more "drunkenly scribbled napkin." Prepare for a ride…
Nightcap at The Cheeky Squire: A Melbourne Mess, With a Dose of Craft Beer
Day 1: Arrival & Mild Panic (With a Side of Fries)
- 14:00 (Give or Take): Land in Melbourne. Oh, the air! It smells of… well, I'm not sure. Something vaguely cosmopolitan, maybe a hint of exhaust fumes. Always a good start. First order of business: find my little AirBnb (fingers and toes crossed it’s not haunted).
- 15:30: Successfully navigated public transport (miracle!), and am now staring at my tiny, slightly depressing apartment. Okay, it's functional. Deep breaths. Gotta find food, stat. Hangry levels are reaching DEFCON 1.
- 17:00: Found a dodgy burger joint. Ate a burger. It was… edible. But these fries, oh sweet baby Jesus, these fries were crispy, salty perfection. Honestly, the best part of my entire day so far. I think I'm in love with the chef. Don't tell my partner!
- 19:00: Headed to The Cheeky Squire. Alright, I've heard the hype. It's supposed to be this craft beer haven. I'm slightly intimidated. I'm not a beer snob, people. I'm a "give me something cold and tastes alright" kind of gal.
- 19:30: Holy moly. This place is packed. The atmosphere is buzzing; people are laughing, talking, the clinking of glasses. And the smell! That sweet, malty, yeasty smell… I'm a convert already. Found a spot at the bar – the only place I could squeeze.
- 20:00: Order a tasting paddle. Okay, this is where things get interesting. The beers are… diverse. One is like sunshine in a glass (the IPA, surprisingly!), another tastes like burnt toast (a stout? My guess!) The bartender – a cheerful, bearded man named Liam – is patient with my uneducated questions. Gotta love a patient bartender.
- 21:00: Okay, two beers in. Feeling good. Talked to a couple next to me, and discovered we were both solo travelers. Bonded over feeling alone (it's a universal experience, folks!). They ordered pizza. Should have ordered pizza. Next time.
- 22:00: Feeling the buzz. The music's good. Started singing along to a song… terribly. Mortified when I realized I was alone in my singing. Trying to play it off cool like this happens all the time. Let's just say I've abandoned my attempts at composure.
- 23:00: Ordered another beer, but this time it was just… meh. The first two really set my expectations. Ah well, a good night isn't about perfection, is it? It's about the messy, hilarious, slightly embarrassing bits.
Day 2: Exploring the City (and Maybe Regretting Last Night)
- 09:00 (ish): Woke up. Head throbbing. Regret. So much regret (mostly the singing). Coffee. Need coffee. Lots of coffee.
- 10:00: Head to the city. Melbourne is gorgeous. The architecture, the laneways, the street art… Seriously, it's a visual feast. Feeling overwhelmed but in a good way.
- 12:00: Found a cute cafe for brunch. Avocado toast, because obviously. And more coffee. Because, see above. Feeling human again!
- 14:00: Wander through the laneways. So many hidden gems! Vintage shops, quirky cafes, tiny art galleries… Melbourne, you sneaky devil. I could get lost in here for days.
- 16:00: Head back to the hotel (a bit earlier than planned). Need a nap. The city is exhausting.
- 18:00: Thinking about going back to The Cheeky Squire. It's the only place I know! But… the fear of public humiliation is real.
- 19:00: Screw it, back at The Cheeky Squire. This time with a friend I met yesterday! Turns out she's just as goofy as I am.
- 20:00: More beer. More laughter. More terrible dancing (this time with a witness!).
- 22:00: Pizza this time. Absolutely heavenly (as predicted). Now that's a proper night.
- 23:00: Talking to a stranger about life goals. Turns out, all of us are just winging it! Wonderful.
- 00:00: This time the last beer, I really like it. But I have to go. I need some sleep.
Day 3: The Farewell (Not Really Goodbye)
- 09:00: So sad, but I'm done.
- 10:00: Coffee (last one!)
- 11:00: Airport.
In conclusion: The Cheeky Squire was a solid choice. Good beer, good atmosphere. Melbourne, you've stolen my heart (and a good chunk of my money). I'll be back, Melbourne. I'll definitely be back. And next time, I'm ordering the pizza on day one. You can bet your bottom dollar on that. Note: This is just a rough outline, obviously. Every day will be a little different. I will be getting lost, making mistakes, laughing at myself (a lot), and probably spilling beer on myself at least once. But that's the fun of it, right? Here's to the trip!. Cheers.
Hangzhou's Hidden Gem: Yi Lin Hotel Apartment - Unbelievable Luxury Awaits!
Melbourne's Best Nightcap: The Cheeky Squire's Secret? Let's Get Down to Business (and Maybe Regret It Later!)
Okay, Okay, The Big Question: Is The Cheeky Squire's Nightcap REALLY worth the hype?
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because this is where things get **personal**. Look, I’ve lived in Melbourne for...well, let's just say a significant chunk of my life, and I've hunted down the *perfect* post-dinner, pre-bedtime beverage. The Cheeky Squire? It *better* be good, right? And you know what? Sometimes, yeah. Other times, it's a glorious, messy, delicious disaster. Depends on the night, the company, and how many questionable decisions I've already made.
My first experience? Complete and utter perfection. Picture this: a cold, rainy Friday. Exhausted, emotionally drained, but desperate for something…*more*. Found myself in a cozy corner, nursing a stout (not even usually my thing!), and BAM. Pure, unadulterated bliss. The staff? Charming. The atmosphere? Relaxing. The nightcap? Like a warm hug in a glass.
But then… the *second* time? We're talking post-Christmas shopping carnage. Crammed in there like sardines, the music was too loud, and I think my stout was someone else's abandoned order. (Don't judge. Desperate times...) Still, the *potential* is there. It’s like a turbulent love affair, this place...
Right, what's the *secret* to The Cheeky Squire's appeal for late-night swilling? What makes it 'special'?
Honestly? It's a vibe. (Sorry, I hate that word, but it's TRUE). It's not just the beer. It's the slightly-dim lighting, the buzz in the air – a mix of happy chatter and the quiet clinking of glasses. It's the feeling that you *can* be yourself, loud, quiet, whatever. They seem to tolerate, nay, *embrace* a certain level of charming disarray.
I once saw a guy literally fall asleep at the bar. No one batted an eyelid. (Okay, maybe *I* did, a little. But I secretly admired his commitment.) And the beer selection? Solid. Always a good range, even if I secretly long for the days when they had that one *insane* imperial stout... Gone, but not forgotten!
And then you have the food. Omg, the food. (I say "omg" way too much, I know). Perfectly greasy, wonderfully comforting. Sometimes a bad nightcap is simply a bad beer. But they have a knack for making your tastebuds agree with your soul!
What kind of beer do you *really* recommend for a nightcap there? Be honest! And Why? (and which do you definitely NOT recommend)
Okay, *fine*, you want the truth? Here's the deal.
**Recommended:**
- **Stouts:** Yeah, I started with a stout and I'd go back. *Especially* on a miserable night. It's rich, it's comforting, and it's basically a velvet blanket for your insides. But pace yourself! It's a *nightcap*, remember? Not a pre-sleep blackout.
- **Seasonal IPAs:** They often have a rotating selection. The bitterness is a good counterpoint after a heavy meal. (And sometimes, you *need* a little punch of flavour!)
- **Something lighter:** This feels like a cop-out, but hey, after 10pm: they can get away with it. Pilsners or Lagers. If I want to keep it classy, a simple beer and some air will do.
- **Anything too strong:** Unless you're ready to become *that person*. You know, the one who's suddenly oversharing about their ex at 11 pm. No. Just...no.
- **Anything you're not familiar with:** Trust me. Experimenting with a crazy new beer at the *end* of the night is a recipe for disaster. You'll just regret it.
- **Anything prepackaged!** They're just wrong.
And the WHY? Because a nightcap isn't just about getting tipsy. It's about *savouring* the moment, the end of the day. (And if you *do* get a little tipsy, well, that's just a bonus, yeah?)
Okay, logistics time: Is The Cheeky Squire easy to get to after a long day/night? And opening hours?
Ah, the practicalities! Yeah, it's pretty well-placed. Depends on where you're starting from, of course (and how many wrong turns your friends have taken, which is a common experience of these late nights). But it's generally easy to get to by public transport, or, if you're feeling brave (and your designated driver is sober!), by taxi. Check their exact address and opening hours online, but I *think* they usually stay open pretty late. Perfect for a post-dinner, pre-uber-home situation. Double-check before you get your hopes up, though, because nothing is worse than a locked door and a rumbling stomach after a craving.
*Don't* try walking too far late at night though.
Are there any other places you'd consider a worthy nightcap alternative, or is it *all* about the Cheeky Squire for you? Spill the tea!
Okay, okay, I can't be *completely* one-track-minded, even if I *love* the Squire.
**The Other Ones**
- **A cozy wine bar with a fireplace:** Absolutely, Especially if the weather is terrible.
- **A dive bar with a pool table:** Good for a quick pint a bit more lively, sometimes. But always take your friends!
But look, The Cheeky Squire holds a special place in my heart (and sometimes, my liver.) It's a place where I can let my hair down, be silly, and maybe (probably) regret some choices the next morning. And frankly? That's what a true Melbourne nightcap is all about.
